five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
