I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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