One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Fuck appropriateness.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize