Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
