I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
