we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
