Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
