Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
