Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
