You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
