sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
