its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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