True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
