maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
