I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
