Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
