Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
