Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
