now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize