I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
