i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He shit in the fireplace
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize