you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
