You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize