Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
