pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dignity is for republicans.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We are two peas in an std pod
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
