Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize