dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
