Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
