Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
