He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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