careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
