Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
