Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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