I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize