Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
