here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize