you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
