there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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