Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
a search helicopter?!
Green mimosas i think yes
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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