All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
