Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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