some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
