Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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