She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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