I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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