I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
