thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
