HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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