I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
