I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
