on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
