Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
