Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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