If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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