Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
