just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
