with your own penis?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
