I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
