Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
