I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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