wanna go halves on a baby?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize