Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
