You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
