hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
