if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
