It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
