More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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