did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
