I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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