When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize